Friday, February 25, 2011

Coping

Been thinking about some of my overlooked blessings lately. I just finished a book (true story) about a group of sailors on a whale boat in the early 1800’s who had their ship sunk by a whale and ended up floating for their lives on the Pacific for close to three months. As I tend to curse my lot when I feel challenged, I think it noteworthy to acknowledge that despite of what else might happen, I am not:

  • On a whale boat voyage, away from my family for 2-3 years. Sure, John might be gone a lot, and come home mostly to sleep…but we can gaze upon him lovingly as he snores, and know he (and we) is/are safe.
  • Severely dehydrated. My tongue is not swollen so that I can’t speak (though some might wish it were: my children), my eyes are not bulging in their sockets, and I can sweat.
  • Starving. I am not literally skin and bones, nor suffering from intense edema. I have energy to clean toilets and make lunch.
  • Eating people. ‘Nough said about that.
  • Fat-free. If someone found it necessary to eat me to survive, it is comforting to know that as I am not starving, there is plenty of fat in my muscles which would provide significant nutrition to benefit my friend.

Lest you misunderstand, I am not so pathetic as to see no blessings in my life aside from the above. I see the hand of the Lord now, more profoundly than normal. I truly am filled with gratitude. However, I’m also impatient, and would like to see the neatly wrapped gift answering all my prayers at once, and get discouraged when the tidy solution is less imminent than I consider ideal…but that doesn’t mean I’m entirely faithless and ungrateful - just human and learning.

Silly as it might be, however, I admit to finding comfort knowing it could be much worse. My reading list is filled with tragedies. Horribly depressing – and yet quite reassuring. Twisted? Definitely. Now, off to read on the international sex trade, and then maybe watch “Whale Wars.”

Blessed, indeed.

What about you? Any coping mechanisms to pass along?

Monday, February 21, 2011

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say...

...

Life is a bit chaotic lately. You know that quote about watching a person in adversity to see their true character? I think that's a dumb quote. I spend as much time as possible HIDING my true cynnical and grumpy character - and when it is more transparent as I struggle through challenges, I would really appreciate if people DID NOT stare. Who came up with that great idea? Apparently someone at the END of their trials.

Not to say that things are bad over here. I'm feeling pretty blessed overall, though struggling to stay positive with my house on the market, an imminent move to a new city, changes in plans (though small, this is NOT a good time for deviation!), a significant financial hit, a barely there or awake husband, and an assertive two year old. I feel very watched over - but also very tired and quite overwhelmed. It's leaving me snappy with the kids, and a bit (translate: a LOT) neurotic about keeping the house spotless at every moment (when feeling stressed, I turn into even more of a mega-control freak - it's not pretty). I've found my tidy standards challenging to uphold, which makes me grouchier. Argh!

I think I'll go to bed now so tomorrow I will have a greater desire to work on that bit about not saying anything at all.