Monday, February 22, 2010

Mom of the Year?

Yep, it's official. I am not going to win the Mother of the Year award. I was pretty sure I was going to win, you know, because I'm just so great - but my kids have just informed me that I.AM.A.LOSER.

Last night, as I was cleaning up dinner, Bug came into the kitchen. "Guess what, Mom? You are the Number 2 Mom," she informed me. I could tell I was supposed to be really excited about the accolade, but all I could think was, "Number 2, as in Runner-up, as in LOSER."

"Wanna know who's Number 1?"

"Humor me," I said.

Then she told me about my friend, who, she reports, has let her watch a movie everytime she has been over there (twice?) and who once gave her a popsicle and fruit snacks, all in the same day. Don't get me wrong - I really like my friend, and I think she's a great mom, though for different reasons.

"But don't worry Mom," she finished, "you're still Number 2."

Thank Heavens for that, because today as I was contemplating my strategy to regain my Number 1 status (brownies with Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups and ice cream for breakfast?) Lu informed me (through tears and wails, which I'm sure reached record-level decibles) that I AM THE WORST MOTHER. EVER.

So count me out of that contest; I guess I won't enter afterall - which is really too bad. My talent portion was going to be really good... and don't even get me started on the 3-kids worth of love handles swimsuit competition. I tell you what - I've got skills.


  1. Good thing the judges are looking for more than just kids' opinions! Heck, your sense of humor alone could win the contest!!
    It's sad, though, how our kids can say some of the things that hurt us the most. Just remember that you have lots of grown up friends who love you and think the world of you!!
    And I'm going to have to tell you to just shut up (in a nice way) about 3 kids worth of love handles... you're still one of the cute skinny gals who hasn't got anything on my 8-kids worth of love handles (even though I've only had 2!!) LOL
    Have you taken a serious look in the mirror lately? You look fabulous!!

  2. You are such a funny writer. Even having heard the story earlier I was totally dying laughing reading this. I would be very interested to see your talent portion I'm sure that would put you in the number one slot. If only my own kids thought I was number one--then again I am way nicer and generous to other people's kids than my own :)

  3. I'm never letting my kids go to Heather's house! I just can't handle that kind of rejection... ;)

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. My kids would never dream of letting me feel anything but the queen of our heavenly home on earth.

  6. Erin, I love your perspective and your way of saying things. In my book, you would earn Mom of the Year and deserve it!

    Some day (cough, cough, that infamous *some day*) your kids will appreciate you.

  7. What, no guilt trips? My little princess, when she doesn't get her way, will clutch at her chest and exclaim through sobs, "You're breaking my heart."

  8. how dare she vote you number 2! Perhaps you should offer her pizza. Kids love pizza...

  9. LOL! HAHAHAHA! OMG I am laughing so hard! I love the way you think and write Erin. It always brightens my day.
    I would hate to hear what your kids would rank me if YOU come in at #2! I don't even think I would qualify or even think about running in that race. It's too much pressure to try to make all of my kids happy at once. I think the rank I would get if you average all five of my judges, would fall well below a 2! lol
    I am hoping I am getting closer to that "some day appreciation" with some of my kids. We'll see. ;-)

  10. Mary Jane yelled "Shut up" at me and slapped me because I brushed her hair. So, you know, it could be worse. You're not in last place. That would be me. I've made other people's kids cry. I'm the epitome of mean!